How Are You Managing Your Lack of Grief?

Nearly 100,000 Americans have died from COVID-19. Why doesn’t it feel like it?

We’ve all seen the daily news briefings from our mayors, governors and the White House. We’ve all seen the tragic tweets about spouses, parents and friends succumbing to the illness. We’re all probably at most two degrees away from someone who has been diagnosed with COVID-19.

But there’s something about seeing it in black and white 8-point font that makes all of this so much more real.

This is merely 1,000 victims — their lifetimes summed up by their city of residence and four-to-six-word epitaphs. There are 100 more front pages to be filled with the names of the dead. It is a tribute that is at once both stirring and sobering, especially when you realize that almost none of these people or their families were allowed the luxury of a proper funeral.

So why is that a school shooting or a terrorist attack or a fatal accident — which usually impacts only a fraction of the people who have been affected by COVID-19 — gets so much more tangible sympathy and grief from the public at large and has such a personal effect on me?